Today is Valentine’s Day and I have plenty of memories associated with this day, both good and bad. Twenty-four years ago, I asked my first crush to be “my girl”. Twenty-two years ago, I broke up with my first crush because she was interested in someone else. Twenty-one years ago, I fell in love with a girl who I just knew was going to be “The One”. Twenty-and-a-half years ago, she decided to hang out with someone else. Eighteen years ago, I asked this beautiful girl (and Aggie fanatic) to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. Seventeen-and-a-half years ago, we broke it off because of lives going in separate directions. We were high schoolers after all. Seventeen years ago, I began my love/hate relationship with the Army, which I still have a lot of love/hate moments with. About that same time, I fell in love with a midwestern farmer’s daughter (okay, her dad was a financial planner in Milwuakee) and started a long distance relationship that lasted nearly four years. Then I found out she had been seeing my best friend, at the time. Fourteen years ago, I fell in love with someone that very well could have been my soulmate, but she couldn’t make up her mind. Me or someone that treated her like personal property rather than a person. I made the decision when I walked away. Thirteen years ago, I became awestruck with a tall midwestern farmer’s daughter (okay, her dad worked for Frito Lay as a route salesman for thirty years). Married a year later and then separated late last year, we had two kids together in that time, while I spent a great deal of time away from home for the Army mission. She needed companionship that she didn’t feel she had with me and so this year, I’m again single. I’ve gotten back up and back into the saddle again enough times to know that I will not say “Nevermore”. But, I know that I’m a bit more jaded about relationships, a little more guarded, though I know a few of you who know me will argue that point. You’ll say I’m not guarded enough. Tomato, Tomahto. I guess my point is that I am glad of the many things I’ve learned about relationships. I regret some of the mistakes I’ve made, but I have learned from each of them. So, now I wait to see what the future holds and hope that I can make it out of here intact. Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all! I hope it’s a sweet one for you!
Phoenix
•December 30, 2011 • Leave a CommentThis one is for a friend in need of healing.
A friend in need of true love. In need of understanding that though others may be incredibly cruel and despotic, there is hope. There is love. And above all, there is life still. Bars that hold you inside can be broken. Doubts that keep you fearful can be blazed away in a fire of fearlessness. That when it seems that all has been lost, there is a light, and a sliver of hope. You have to be willing to go through the dark between you and that glimmering in the distance. But, if you persist and don’t lose your way, you’ll get there. And you will be stronger, more confident. Less afraid of the dark that cannot hold you back. It will take support, which you must reach out for. A tree branch for the adventurer trapped in quicksand is lost if he doesn’t reach for the branch. The support will be there. Friends and family alike. And among them, the most constant friend and family of all. God.
I cannot begin to comprehend all that my friend has been through; I’ve only tasted a little hurt in comparison. But I know this: amidst the turmoil and the heartbreak, the desolation and hurt, that friend is beautiful and strong, with a perseverence that would stagger a Navy SEAL. The fervor of a fighter. A fighter who knows that to give an inch is to lose a mile. So my friend doesn’t give. Sways a little, sure, but steadfast and resolute as they come. So, I take strength in my friend’s example. I know, once again, that after the storm settles and the wind dies down, my friend, a phoenix, will rise from the ashes anew, stronger and more fiery. Tempered by vulnerability, armored, and windblown. Perhaps frail a little because, after all, we are all just made of flesh, that is the beauty and the wonder of my friend.
Thanks for your friendship! I am praying for you!
I’m trying
•December 16, 2011 • Leave a CommentSeriously, I’m trying to get back to this thing. I’ve had a bunch of things go on recently, so I’m going to fill you in very quickly. Spanish class, racquetball, broken back (due to racquetball), car accident, separation from my wife, move to apartment, returning to active duty status. There. Questions? I’ll try to be more specific later. I promise. Thanks for stopping by and check back this weekend. Really!
The Tao of Boat Repair
•October 29, 2011 • Leave a CommentSo, the boat engine is finally done, after a year of mucking around with it, although most of that time was NOT working on it. Life got in the way and weekends became too busy. I will admit that there is little of anything that I do once the football season starts. Lazy? Perhaps. Oh, but it makes Saturdays busy with getting Honeydew list items done. Anyway, so the boat was a steal, finding out that the man who sold the boat lied about all of the work needed on it. So, part by part, the engine was rebuilt, culminating in a complete overhaul, minus cylinder sleeves and pistons. They were in great shape. Everything else? Not so much. All because of one simple failure of a check valve that prevents water from backing up into the exhaust manifold. Now, you may not know that most boats have a standard cooling system (at least, back in 2000 and earlier) because it is less maintenance when taken care of. Closed cooling systems require more plumbing on the motor and it is maintenance heavy, but it provides heat during colder temperatures so you can sit in relative comfort, if you are boating during the fall months in places that get cold. Florida gets chilly, but a jacket and long pants suffice to keep you warm.
Okay, so the boat is ready to return to the water, but I need a new battery, so I’m going to just get one and prevent a dead boat out on the water. Since it is the first time since I replaced the major parts of the boat, I’m taking it out alone with the tools and whatever else I may need to get the boat going again. If all else fails, Progressive will cover our sea-tow to the slip where I can humbly put the boat back on the trailer and go home with my tail between my legs and a brainstorm of things to do to fix the boat.
Pics of the boat on the water soon! I hope! Haha! You know the two happiest days of a boater’s ownership of his boat? The day he buys it and the day he sells it. Let’s hope this isn’t one of those cases.
I’m back and working hard to make this a regular thing now…
•October 22, 2011 • Leave a CommentOkay, so I’m back, and I’ve obtained rights to this site as kyodan75.com. As such, I can now upload videos and pictures and whatever else I want, as long as I have space. This is going to be my journal of my life, in tidbits. It’s going to be observations of the life and goings-on around me and my petty take on them. It’s going to share humor from friends, family, life, and love. It’s going to be rants about things I probably know less about than a middle schooler. It will be about anything, everything, and nothing. It’s going to just BE. I’m not a professional blogger, nor do I hope to ever be one. I just want to share with my friends and those bored enough to be trolling for garbage to pass their boring moments. I’m a sociable person who loves to stick around the home and tinker with my car, computers, network structures, and therefore, be antisocial. Okay, enough about me.
I am open to suggestions for posts on this site, but if you have an argument for me, and don’t mind it posted, I’ll quote you and then rebut the statement. Comments are always welcome and I look forward to what you, my friends have to say.
Alright, let’s get this party started!
Dan
Trust and Obey?
•October 13, 2010 • 1 CommentI’m a former missionary kid (MK) who spent essentially all of my childhood and formative years in the Philippines, where my parents worked as missionaries. As such, I was blessed with an environment that encouraged culture immersion – indeed, you couldn’t avoid it- and opportunities that most American children do not get to experience. Part of the life of an MK is also going to boarding school. While not all MKs are dorm residents, per say, I’m reasonably confident that the vast majority are or have spent time in the dorms (not just visits or overnight stays) for at least a few weeks. The dorms are good and bad, depending on who you are and what your personality type is. For the ones that were uncomfortable being away from Mom and Dad, it was a rough time, until they either became familiar with being in the dorm and the time away from home, or they went back home and were home-schooled. Some parents chose to home-school over sending their children to the dorms because of the hardship it presented to the child (or parent; I knew some clingy parents!).
Dorm life was good if you liked the independence from your parents’ rules, even though you still had rules to follow in the dorm. It was easier to get away with not following dorm rules because there were often at least a dozen MKs living there in addition to whatever children the dorm “parents” had of their own. In my time in the different dorms, I think all of my dorm “parents” had at least two kids, so you’re looking at around fourteen to eighteen kids in the dorm. This makes for a borderline chaotic experience near the beginning of the year, until routines set in and the children become belabored with homework, projects, and activities of their own. At that point, it is easy to then be lost in the crowd. During the chaotic beginnings of the school year in the dorms, the hustle and bustle of activity is exciting but it soon dies down as kids began to realize that, 1) they are “home” for the school year, 2) vacation is over and school is the focal point of the week, and 3) there’s no getting out of it.
I describe all of this to lay the groundwork for this: trust and obedience in and to the dorm parents is a requirement, because they are the ones given the responsibility to watch over you and make sure your needs are met. We, as dorm children, looked at them as surrogate parents, as they were in every way that a surrogate parent is defined. They fed us, made sure we had clean clothes to wear, ensured that we had the opportunity to learn and grow, and all of that is expected of the actual parents of the children. Unfortunately, that trust and obedience could be misused and children could be led astray because of their trust and obedience to the dorm parents.
I’m learning just now of an investigation into dorm parents and teachers in the same mission organization that I spent the majority of my MK time in, that focused on sexual, physical, spiritual (?), and emotional abuse in Senegal. During the ’80s and ’90′s, several children were subjected to these types of abuse by dorm parents and teachers; the children later came forward, either as teens or young adults, and reported it (often years after the fact); and, the leadership in the organization either stifled the truth or outright lied about the severity of the events.
The same thing happened in the Philippines, and I’d like to see if a formal investigation by the same third-party could be conducted. Initially, I was skeptical when I heard that the mission organization-which I won’t name but cannot keep a secret because all you have to do is Google “Senegal abuse and mission organization” to find out who I’m speaking of- was conducting an investigation into the allegations. I thought,”How are they going to deliver an unbiased, objective report if they are conducting it themselves. Especially considering what I know of how they handled the Philippines case.” I have dear friends and family that were deeply affected by that who suffer quietly to this day because of that incident. But the report is, in my opinion, objective and honest and I feel they would do the Philippine incident justice. For so long, I wanted justice to be served so badly that for a long time, I kept my own tabs on the perpetrator’s family and their whereabouts because I wanted to take matters into my own hands. Even now, I still have a hard time not being angry towards the family members because they were subjected to the same abuse themselves. I often wondered how they could let it happen without doing something about it. How could the wife of the man who did these thing allow her husband to do it? Sadly, I won’t know if she DID know or not for she has passed away since that time.
We trust that others will look out in the best interest for our children when given the direct responsibility to do so. Sometimes, that is taken for granted and abused. What I am saying here is that it is unfortunate that children had to suffer this way, often feeling unable to come forward because of the types of things that happened or fear of reprisal, rejection, or disbelief in the fact that the situation did indeed happen the way the child says. For leadership of such an organization to cover up or mislead in the way that it handles such situations is criminal. For the perpetrator to not be prosecuted for their crimes is criminal. There are laws that protect American citizens living abroad, even when such residence is considered permanent outside of US borders. It’s why an American who commits a crime abroad can be extradited back to American soil to face justice. And, oh yeah, American embassy grounds is considered American soil. Once inside American Embassy walls, you are on American soil, regardless of the country the embassy is located, regardless of whether the host nation recognizes it as sovereign territory, apart from host nation jurisprudence. The leadership of the organization could have taken him to the American Embassy, stated the perperatrator’s alleged crimes, and turned him over to the FBI agent-in-charge for transporting and opening the investigation into the allegations. Especially since the perp admitted to the abuse AND wrote letters to the families involved to apologize and explain what had happened. (Actually, the letter was a justification of why he did the things he had done and not a sincere effort at all.)
So, where does that leave us? Where can we go from here? Yes, it’s been years since this all happened. Yes, it’s a far stretch to think that the perp can be prosecuted at this time, although I think he could be and should be. Yes, I’m sure that there may be victims who have moved on. But for those that are unable to, this is for you. He will get what he deserves when he answers for what he has done in front of God. People talk about the cardinal sin and what it may be. I think it’s anyone who claims to be a believer in Christ and then does something as heinous as this. I don’t think there is a worse sin than using the name of God to mislead others into trusting you so that you can do terrible things to them, especially children.
I’m glad that God is just and impartial. If I had to administer the justice to people like the perp, there would be an unjust punishment for the crime because I would want the perp to suffer a thousandfold. But that is not God’s justice. And what I would administer is, in reality, much less than the suffering of the man cutoff from God for eternity because of his crimes, though I may not think it.
Here’s the post for the Senagal abuse report:
I used to love hunting…just not jobs!
•September 13, 2010 • Leave a CommentOkay, so I’m spending a lot of time looking for work. In an economy that sucks because of two wars and a current administration that has it’s head in the sand on military matters. I want to be somewhere else, in someone else’s skin, and not like that Ed Gein guy kind of someone else’s skin. Anyway, until I am gainfully employed, the blogging is on hold. Please stay tuned for further adventures and hijinks, rants, and observations that make you go “hmmmm?!”
